I was called “fat” once; it didn’t mean anything till it became a routine of cruel comments and having people laugh and point at my body.
I was bullied for being different. I looked different and I acted different. I was told to ignore them and that they were just jealous, but when something like that becomes repetitive, you start to believe it. It works like this; You have blue eyes. If the majority of people you talked to, told you that you have brown eyes, you might start to believe them. You’ve never truly seen yourself, except your reflection. What if you saw something that was or wasn’t there, you would never know though because it was just a reflection, not the real deal. So, people keep telling you have brown eyes and now you’re convinced you have brown eyes. Your friends and family will tell you that everyone’s lying and you have blue eyes, but you start to wonder, “well, if I have blue eyes, why would everyone tell me otherwise? Even people I trusted told me I had brown eyes. Why would all those people lie?”
So why would people lie and tell you something you’re not? It’s because they only see the surface of you in their own filter called their “perspective.” They are comparing you to someone you aren’t. Your sight can be misleading and so can others’. It’s messy and scrambled up because you aren’t sure who truly sees you the way you are. You can’t trust your perspective because it’s only a reflection, but you can’t trust others because they all see you differently. This is when you have to get in sync with yourself. Relying on others to tell you how you are and aren’t isn’t the way to go. It’s when you have to make your own judgement by how you feel. This time, ignore what’s on the surface. Get down deep with who you are as a person and ignore what you might see on the outside. If I were completely blind to who I am, I would see a body that has issues here and there, that I might not be confident with. The thing is, I see who I am and that’s how I judge myself. I might be self-conscious about my body, but my personality shouldn’t even align to how people see my shape.
It took me almost my entire lifetime (so far) to realize that I’m not fat. I’m not a size 2, but I don’t see myself as overweight in any way. If I’m being real with you right now, I still get self-conscious about my body. I don’t like wearing a bikini when I go to the pool and I don’t like wearing tight clothes, but that doesn’t stop me when I do have those days where I’m more confident than other times. I know my body isn’t ugly, but I also know it’s not perfect. Our brains become wired that we have to be the best we can visually in order to please everyone, but the truth is, we can’t. Not everyone will be happy with you and how you appear to be. If we get the mindset that we aren’t perfect and that no one else is, then we will stop fat shaming. It’s beaten me up completely knowing that I was seen as fat, ugly, and overweight to other people, but I realized I’m not going to grant their wishes on the way I should look in their minds.
The picture that is at the top (left to right) is of me, my sister, and my best friend. We are all different in shapes and sizes, but I love them so much. I don’t see their imperfections and insecuritues, I see someone who is strong, beautiful, and intelegent beyond compare. They both have their own little quirks that I love about them and they will probably hate me for posting this picture but they are so beautiful and I am so thankful to have them in my life. If we stop seeing people on how they appear physically, we can focus on who they are and embrace their qualities as a person and not objectify them because “they’re different.”