Today was my first day as a “free bird” in a sense. I am officially moved out of my parent’s nest and into something new and different. It’s weird, if I’m going to be honest. I expected myself to cry because I am a huge mommy’s and daddy’s girl. Basically saying, I love my parents and they are my best friends. Although my emotions are different than expected, it still hasn’t kicked in that they aren’t here. I’m excited though. It’s nice to have my own space in a way, even if I’m still living with other people. I have pictures of everyone hanging in my room just to make me feel as if I’m still next to them. It’s not that I’m far away by much, just the convenience is gone.
I don’t have much to say, mainly because I don’t know what to think. I’m holding my fingers on the keys trying to type a way that I feel but I can’t seem to make the words. I’m speechless; more like thoughtless. I don’t know what to think about this besides that this is new and I’m lost. It’s a new chapter and I know not to look back, it’s almost impossible for me to find a way that I feel about this. I like it, but I’m just blank.
I sit at my desk with the window open so I can hear the sounds of the night. I hear animals walking around and either barking or making some other sort of sound. I’m pretty sure I heard a dear scream because a dog was chasing it. I hear birds chirping in the afternoon and nothing but wind at night. It’s empty but peaceful. I can see the moon through the tree branch that’s next to my window. I can see the actual tree next to me as well. Other than that, I can’t see or hear anything. For some people that’s scary, for me it’s heartwarming. I’m at peace with a nice “nothing” and I like it. There’s not much here I don’t like.
The only thing is, I’m not home. At least not right now. I’m not used to it and how would I be on the first day? I’m still trying to get used to all of this. It’s even weird for me to be at a desk typing and not on my bed. I am excited for the time when I can walk into my room and feel at home. Not like I’m in someone else’s house. I don’t really know what else to right though. I’m still at a loss for words.
I moved out. I moved in. Simple yet crazy, and loud but peaceful.