It’s the first impression. Whether you’ve known him for days or years, this is always different. Usually you would expect him to pick you up at your house, it’s what the movies always showed, but maybe he had you meet him somewhere else. Usually casual, so it wouldn’t scare him or you away. He wasn’t quite used to normal dates and relationships. Just something quick and easy. He never expected it to get this far.
It’s scary because you don’t quite know each other, but it’s exciting because there’s so much to learn. I was a fast learner though. He threw out pretty obvious signs of his plans for that night. He wasn’t good at surprises and you had already thought about the night in your head. You knew exactly what was going to happen, you just didn’t know if this would actually go anywhere. Usually, dates don’t really go anywhere afterwards. It’s kind of just a one night thing where it’s fun, but not enough to keep going. This was different. There was a spark; something special to him. You couldn’t tell what it was about him that made you feel the way you did, but it was there. The excitement of being there, with him, was all you cared about. Sometimes, when you go on dates, some turn out great, and some don’t, but this one, turned out the best.
This was so new and so different than what I’ve been used to for so long, I didn’t think it would actually work out the way it did. I didn’t think there would ever be a second date. I honestly thought it would be a one night of fun then I would go home and forget about it in the morning; and so would he. If I didn’t feel that spark, nothing would’ve come out of that one date; the one date that changed me. I expected nothing from him. Not even a text in the morning. Since I felt that spark of there being something different to him, I knew I would see him again. The days turned to weeks, then to months. The spark never left. I fell in love with him. It took time, of course, you can’t just fall in love over night. I knew what I felt was true and I was thankful that I got that first date. All because of that spark that I’ve never felt in my entire life. I took the risks it came with being in a relationship because of what I felt that night. I knew with being someone so different than me that it would be challenging at times, but it was worth it.
If you don’t feel a spark with the person your with, then you’re wasting your time. What’s the point of forcing yourself to love someone when you know that it’s not actually love? I waited. I went on dates often enough to know that none of these guys were the one or at least someone I would want to spend time with anyways. When you feel something like that spark in your heart, and you can’t even think of the words to describe what it’s like, but it only exists around that one person.
After five months, the spark went away. It comes back sometimes, but it fades the same time. I can’t tell you what happened because I don’t know. I couldn’t even tell him what happened. When something that magical vanishes, it feels like you’re missing something. You think you’re sick and that you’ll be okay in the morning or in a few days, but those days turn into weeks. You get worried. You both start arguing with each other and everything feels as if it’s falling out of place. You lose control in your relationship and before you know it, the spark that made you fall in love with him, disappears. Sometimes, when you think of him, it comes back. Sometimes it doesn’t.
The first date is the best date. No matter how long you have known him, that date will always show if it’s meant to be. It was my favorite out of all of our dates. I still remember the last one too. I got the spark back. I never fell out of love with him, but I finally felt what drew me into him again.