Life has its ups and downs. The good things in life have good consequences. The bad things in life have bad consequences.
I haven’t been okay. I’m gonna say it straight up. I’ve been through some things that I can’t even put in words. I’ve had to teach myself not to give up. I’ve had the motivation of my coach and family, but that was it. I don’t give up. I give in, sometimes, to when things are going bad and I know they won’t end up good and that it’s best for me to leave right then in there, then I’m out. I can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen and act like if I do nothing then something good will come. That’s not how life works. God makes you work for what you need in life. Yes, he provides, but you have to chip in. You can’t just sit around on your butt waitig for something to come to you. You have to get up and make a change for that something to come. I can’t just sit around and wait for my life to get worse acting like it’s not going down. I have to get up, fix the problem, and move on. Quitting isn’t an option. Not at all. Just because I leave something, doesn’t mean I quit, it means I am strong enough to know I deserve better than that. I deserve more because I’ve worked for it. I have worked hard for where I am today. It wasn’t easy. It’s never going to be easy. But quitting isn’t even a path to take. You will fight for your life and you will move on. Break ups aren’t fun, but guess what, people move on. You move on and so do they. It’s not a race in time, it’s just life. They might just want you to be jealous while you actually get your life together and stop playing around with people who won’t even remember your name in a year. Don’t even think about what people think about you. Why does it matter? Why can’t you just grow up and live your life the way you want to live it rather than drive yourself to insanity just to make everyone around you happy. I always thought I was doing something wrong in life and that everyone else deserved better than me. I lost confidence in myself. I lost hope for myself to gain it back. I became sad and disgusting. Then, I realized, that’s not true. I deserve just as much as everyone else. I deserve happiness and love. I just had to work for it even harder. God doesn’t put a battle in your life that’s too tough for you. He makes it just to your breaking point so once you pass it, you become stronger. You can’t give up because then you won’t see what else he has for you. He won’t make anything impossible, he will just make them feel that way so you become stronger and happier with the things you’ve accomplished. There are consequences to achieving those goals. He will provide everything you need as long as you work for it. It’s how I make myself feel better about the things in my life. I look towards God and think of it as just another “mission” I have to get through in order to move on in life. I layed in my bed praying for my happiness. I prayed that I would be able to get through these tough times and that I will be happy again. I prayed that this won’t last for much longer and that everything will work itself out in the end.