Life happens. There are the ups and downs but there will always be something to boost it back up again after the bad parts. I’ve lost people this year. I was hurt and lost and I truly felt as if that’s how it would be for the rest of my life. I was so down that I thought everyone was tired of listening to me so I kept everything in and I would cry myself to sleep every night because I was that lonely feeling. I was lost in what I wanted to do with my life and I felt like I was experiencing everything alone and I hated that. I was too scared to step out of my comfort zone and talk to someone about how I felt. I completely lost all confidence in myself and other people. I stopped trusting people with everything and I thought being alone was the best route for me at this point. I had to step up for myself and get out of that phase. I didn’t know how and I was unsure that I was going to do it right but I had to start small. I had to gain confidence in myself. It was hard and I’m still battling that but I’m getting there. I have an idea for my future and I hope and pray it works out the way God intends it to. I had to look at the positives to everything. I would make myself look to the future, thinking about things that I’m excited for. Like getting to see my sister again and the cheer banquet. Little and big things. I stopped writing as much so I’m going to pick up the pace again because that was one of the things that have helped me throughout this entire time. My trust is still fragile and I don’t just hand it out to everyone but I’m trying to just forgive and forget people.
What I would say to people in a similar situation as mine is, “give it time.” Stop thinking about everything at once and just relax. Think about your future and all of the good things in life. It’s okay to be sad, but don’t let it overrule your life or else you’ll be miserable like I was. Calm yourself down and write or draw, something to distract your mind. Go for a walk and just hang out with family. Don’t watch TV or Netflix or anything like that because there’s stuff on there that could “trigger” your brain to think about the sad things. Go enjoy the outsides, even if it’s snowing. Open your blinds and sit in your bed watching it and think about all of the amazing things God has done in your life. This kind of stuff takes time to get over. It’s hard to wake up the next morning completely happy. That won’t last. Make yourself truly happy and get over this bump in the road. I had no one to talk to besides my parents and my coach. I’m thankful for them because, without their counseling, I would still be in the worst possible phase of my life. Being sad isn’t fun. Sometimes, all you have to do is get up and make yourself happy, alone or not. You have to forgive and forget about the people in your life who hurt you and the bad times that have happened and just change the way you think and process life.
That’s what I would say.