“We need to talk” is probably the most intimidating phrase to hear. Whether it’s in a relationship, your friends, teachers, parents, it doesn’t matter. It probably scares you. Why? Why do we let that scare us? It usually means we’ve done something wrong. So you think, you think about all of the things that you could have possibly done wrong. It could be your actions or something you have said or the way you looked, anything. You critique every move and word that comes out of your mouth so you can “correct” what you did wrong. The thing is, you didn’t. you scope out your memory to see if you did something wrong that could have potentially hurt the other person but you realized, there isn’t anything. Even if you were to look at their perspective of things they could’ve gotten offended by, there was nothing. Then, out of no where, you get blamed. You weren’t doing something right. It wasn’t that you did something wrong, it was that you did nothing. You could’ve done more, but you didn’t. After all of that anxiety built up of you doing something wrong and stressing about it for a few hours, you were told that you didn’t do enough.
Don’t let them tell you that. You basically gave an arm and a leg for their benefit because that is who you are. You are a people pleaser and truly want the best for everyone around you, even if it makes you miserable. Stop worrying about everyone else’s benefits and for once, worry about yourself. That doesn’t mean hurt everyone around you, it means take your feelings into consideration and start doing what is best for you. I know it’s hard to move on and help yourself but it’s time for you to figure out how to make yourself happy again and to not let people walk all over you and take advantage of you.
Saying “we need to talk” is just another way to control you and to scare you. They will tell you what is wrong with what you’re doing and it will break you down if you let that happen. The sad thing is, you probably will let it. Stand up for yourself. You’re allowed to get up and walk away. You’re allowed to be strong and do what’s best for you. I couldn’t stand up and let myself walk out but I didn’t think I was strong enough and I was scared but I’m not anymore and it’s time for you to be able to. Just stay respectful. If they are walking all over you and doing things that aren’t called for and purposely hurting you and making you feel like you belong in the trash, get up. If it’s your teacher or your parents telling you something then I wouldn’t, just because you should respect authority, but if it’s someone who is in the same place as you, then don’t let them do it anymore.
Don’t let the bullies walk all over you and take advantage of who you are. If it’s your boyfriend/girlfriend, don’t let them abuse you because you’re only wanting the best for them and stopped caring about yourself. If it’s your best friend, speak up and tell them that you can’t be treated like that anymore. You’re allowed to do things to make others happy, but take into consideration if it could hurt you, emotionally and physically. You matter too. It’s not being selfish, it’s being self aware.