High school flied by so fast. I was a small freshman of what feels like yesterday and now I’m in my second semester of senior year. I definitely did not think it would go by this fast. Since junior year, I wanted to do something amazing with my life. I just thought that means go to a university and graduate with a bachelors degree and make a ton of money. Honestly, that’s exactly what I thought. I know now that it is completely different. I knew I wanted to get my bachelors degree, I just didn’t know what in or where. This year, I didn’t get accepted into the school I have been dreaming about since junior year. Instead of letting that make me feel as if I wasn’t good enough or I wasn’t smart enough, I looked at my options. I had to figure out what I really wanted to do. I needed to be smart about it though. What is something I can do that will be consistently hiring when I graduate, can’t be replaced by a machine, and something that would make me incredibly happy? I didn’t know for the majority of high school. I stressed about it and I thought I was behind on everything.
My biggest fear is not being accepted and not being wanted. In college and in general. I would break down when someone wanted to talk to me about college because I felt as if I wasn’t smart enough to make it somewhere. Even if I was a little bit confident that something good would happen, I would freak out because I felt as if they wouldn’t want me. I’ve had a problem with acceptance for awhile and I know it isn’t healthy to have that fear but it just happened. The events throughout my life have brought me that fear. We are all scared of something and for the most part it’s uncontrollable unless it’s reassured to us that we shouldn’t be afraid of it.
Graduation is coming up just around the corner and now I have to make a decision of where I go and what I do for the next 4 years of my life. I am not scared anymore of not being accepted. I found something that meets my standards in college. I finally feel confident in what I will do will make me happy and will be the best route for me. I will start my freshman year of college on August 17, 2017 at the Art Institute of Colorado. I will study for a bachelors degree in Fashion Marketing and Management. I am hoping and praying that I will have the strength and commitment to finish strong and get a job in my degree. I am now excited for graduation rather than a few months ago when I was dreading the day.
Moral of the story, don’t let your fears take control of you. If you want to go to a university, then go. Do whatever you can to get yourself to that point. Do something that makes you happy and that you know will make you happy. You’re allowed to change your mind too. Don’t think you aren’t because I changed my mind like 10 times before I finally decided what I wanted to do. Don’t feel pressured into doing something that doesn’t make you happy. Find something that you know you love and that no one or nothing can replace you in that. Now, we wait. We wait for graduation day. We get excited and get our plans together for either moving out or staying at home and starting school there. We wait for our final grades to come in and we wait to walk down the rows of classmates to shake hands and get our diplomas. It’s worth every second though because all of this work was worth it. It is worth something so much more than a piece of paper with your name on it. It’s worth your future. You have your freedom to move on in life now. Don’t let anything stop you from getting there.