Finding My Voice

I didn’t lose my voice from being sick or from never having anything to say, I lost my voice because I was too afraid to go look for it; metaphorically, of course. I grew up shy and too afraid to say anything or give a look of interest. I was always sorry for believing in something that some people didn’t believe in or got offended by. It scared me to voice my own opinion and thoughts. I covered it up with sharing posts on Facebook rather than being the post that someone is sharing. I know that doesn’t mean a lot, but if you think about it, all the confident seeming figures are the ones who write very strongly opinionated posts that get thousands of responses. I wanted to be like them, in some way. Not really the ignorant kind of confident, but the respectful kind. I wanted to not hide anymore and to share with the world what I think because maybe it will inspire other women or maybe it will show people I’m not some self centered, cheerleader, blonde chick who’s had her life handed to her. I wanted people to see me as a strong, confident, young woman. I know that’s asking a lot from the world but I just had to prove myself. It took me a long time to build up the courage but it made everything so much more worth it. People scream at me from anger, they smile because someone finally said what they were thinking, they take into consideration of how the other side thinks, and they get frustrated because they know they can’t change the way I think. I crave it. I don’t necessarily enjoy people getting mad at me but what does the good mean without having the bad. It has to even out some how, like Yin and Yang. The good reflects from the bad and same for the other side. You won’t truly know what is good in life until you’ve experienced the bad. It’s good that people finally see me for who I want to be seen as but it’s bad because people realized I’m not quite like them then they leave me. That just shows you who your true friends are. Having differences can either pull you together or split you apart. I began to write, even just on Facebook, about how I feel about certain controversial topics. My favorite is politics and history. I absolutely love those two because they are real life topics and people can actually read what you’re sharing and kind of go back to back on if they agree or disagree. You get all hyped up and excited about what you said or what your response will be then you have to get into some research so you have the correct arguments but you get to hear both sides of the spectrum. I love to be educated on the other side of the argument because it either can make me stronger or weaker but just knowing how other people view things is so exhilarating sometimes. I get really passionate about politics and if you know me then you’ve probably seen my Facebook wall where it seems as if everything turns into people arguing with my side of the spectrum. I love it though. My teacher always got all of us students to get interested by disagreeing with each and every one of us. Even if it’s not exactly what he believed, he just wanted to see how passionate we could get. He always says “Agree to disagree” in almost every discussion and it drives everyone crazy but it helps us develop our own opinions and thoughts rather than branch off of other people’s thoughts. I finally have a voice that people listen to and comprehend rather than just being a noise in the background.

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