A story by Lauren Margaret
I call you late at night because I need someone to relief my drama to. You’re tired because it’s been a long night, so I let you go to bed instead. You have had a lot going on in your family and at school. I can’t really relate but I try to comfort you, even if you tell me you’re fine. I know you aren’t; I know you better than you know yourself. I blow it off thinking it’s nothing and if you get a good night of sleep then you will be better in the morning. I couldn’t sleep at all. I kept stressing about my own drama, just stupid things that aren’t as relevant to me as you are. In the morning, I get a text from you, like I usually do. Just your little innocent “Hi” that somehow brightens my day even if it’s just two letters that strangers say in awkward situations. I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks when it’s only been a few days, it’s just because so much has happened. It still makes me happy when I see your nickname pop up on my phone during class. We talk for a little, I pick you up after school, and we go to grab some food. I pay for you because I know how stressful money can be and I don’t have anyone to worry about; besides you. We talk about our days and just relax and listen to music in the car. We don’t even need to talk to each other to enjoy our company. I could sit in a room with you and not say anything the entire time and will feel refreshed. I have to go home because I have a ton of homework and it’s senior year so the only thing running threw my head is school and graduation. We don’t talk for the rest of the night; for the most part. I get a call at 1 am and all I can hear is you crying. It scares me. My heart beats twice the speed when I hear your voice shaking. I start to worry about you. You tell me how you’re over it. You’re over everything and all the stress and drama and it’s too overwhelming. I try to calm you down because I know how you can get worked up when you’re alone for too long and lost in your own head. I thought it would work. You start to calm down so I calm down and we just talk. I tell you to turn on our playlist because it’s what helps you relax. You say you’re okay, so you hang up after our exchange of “I love you, goodnight.” I go to bed but I can’t get my mind off of you. I wake up to start my morning routine and text you. No answer. I wait a bit because you sometimes don’t feel good and sleep in. An hour after your school starts, there’s still no answer. I text your mom because she knows when you stay home or not. She didn’t answer either; I’m pretty sure it was her new job not letting her be on her phone. I let it go for a bit and just let you sleep in. I get a call at 11:35 when my lunch hour started. I thought it was a prank phone call at first because it was an unknown number. I was wrong. I was one of your emergency contacts in case anything bad happened, I would know about it. I thought something happened to your brother or sister before I even let the man finish talking. The words coming out of his mouth weren’t being processed in my head. I was too scared of believing his words. I dropped my phone and stopped breathing. I was ready to quit. I didn’t want to live without you. You were my best friend and you left me. I told you that you can’t leave me, no matter how selfish I sounded, it was even worse for you to leave. It’s selfish of you to leave me and your family so you could give up on so much and escape from your problems. I know it’s hard, I do. I hate that you gave up on me. You are my best friend and you chose ending your journey and to leave me to do this all alone. This hurts me more than it hurts you, easily. Losing you is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I hate that you threw everything away for an easy escape that will be the worst decision you ever made. I know you were hurting but how dare you leave me to do this alone. You don’t know how it is from this side of the line. I was on the other line of that officer telling me that my best friend took something that could never be restored. There’s no way of you coming back. You told me that you were going to get better and that you were doing okay. Why couldn’t you just talk to me? I’ve been through this before but yet you decided it would only be best if you weren’t here. I hate you for doing this. I’ve been constant in and out of the hospital. Did you know it’s possible to die of a broken heart? They told me I almost lost my life from one. Even though it already feels like I’ve died, I just don’t have you anymore. Your mom, she hasn’t left the house in a month. Your little brother had to live with his aunt, who he hates, because she was so paralyzed from losing you. Your sister, she moved away to escape the town that made you break down so badly that you left. She can’t bare to hear the sound of your name. It’ll just put her back in the depressed state of mind she was in when she was your age. We are miserable because you left. I am miserable because you left. If only you knew what it was like, on the other line.